Wednesday, July 13, 2011

the final door closes

The last attempt to gain a visa for me to live in France for a year was unsuccessful. It's been quite the journey these last few months as I have been seeking God's plan for the next year of my life. When I was first approached about this huge opportunity I really had a hard time wanting to do it. After much prayer and wrestling I decided my only reasons for not going were selfish and God wanted me to prove my willingness to go wherever He sent me. I had after all promised Him at 16 that if He sent me somewhere I would go. If He was calling me to France for a year could I not? So I moved forward. Then the au pair visa roadblock came up. This kind of surprised me and threw me off guard a bit as it seemed pretty bizarre and we took a step back to see what could be done around it. We finally came up with a plan B but now that door has closed as well. I feel a bit like Abraham must have, first God told Him he had to sacrifice His only son PROMISED to him by God Himself, only to get all the way to the top of Mt. Moriah and have the angel stop him. I suppose this was God proving me, whether or not I was serious about going where He sent me, only in this case He didn't see it as actually necessary to send me. I am sure there are plenty of lessons to be learned from this experience and maybe some that won't become apparent for years but for now I wait to see what God brings along next.