I realize I haven't blogged very much since I've been home. Part of this is a lack of a desire to really type anything that has been running through my head and part is that I've kept decently busy. I do think though that it is only likely to get busier from here on out. I've been keeping a darling 14 month old girl named Emma for the last couple of months and this coming week she goes to Montessori school. Later in February I will begin working full time for a new family. It will be the first time I consistently work 40 hours a week and I'm a bit anxious about that transition. I don't do nearly well enough keeping up with my responsibilities at home as it is and I'm about to have even less time. I did join a local singing group and I'm excited about that. It will definitely be a stretching experience musically and I know there is a LOT I have to learn, but I'm thrilled to be able to do it.

There is a rather big decision looming before me though that I'd really covet your prayers on. It's definitely something I never dreamed being a possibility and probably an opportunity that won't come up again. At the same time it's a huge step and would be insanely hard for me to do even with God's grace enabling me. If you think about me please pray for God's absolute crystal clear direction. Preferably in a handwritten note from God. ;) Just kidding. I am praying about this until February 14 and want to have absolute peace on whether or not I'm supposed to proceed. If it should become apparent this is God's will for me I will certainly be letting you know. :) (Mamma if you're reading this I promise to tell you about it next time I see you) God is good and He is always more than enough but sometimes it seems like He asks us awfully big things. Isn't this crazy thing we call life an adventure???

Stumbled across this tonight and I liked it a lot and wanted to share.

"What can it mean? Is it ought to Him
That the days are long, and the nights are dim?
Can He be touched by the griefs I bear,
Which sadden the heart and whiten the hair?
About His throne are eternal calms,
And strong glad music of happy psalms,
And bliss unruffled by any strife--:
How can HE care for my little life?

And yet, I want Him to care for me,
While I live in this world where sorrows be.
When the lights die down from the path I take;
When strength is feeble and friends forsake;

And love and music which once did bless,
Have left me to silence and loneliness;
Then my life-song changes to sobbing prayers,
And my heart cries out for a GOD WHO CARES.

When shadows hang o'er the whole day long,
And my spirit is bowed with shame and wrong,
And I am not good, and the bitter shade
Of conscious sin makes my soul afraid;
And the busy world has too much to do
To stay in its courses to help me through;
And I long for a Savior - can it be
That the God of the universe CARES FOR ME?

Oh, wonderful story of deathless Love,
Each child is dear to that heart above'
He fights for me when I cannot fight;
He comforts me in the gloom of night;
He lifts the burden, for He is strong;
He stills the sigh and awakes the song;
The sorrows that bear me down HE shares,
And loves and pardons because HE CARES.

Let all who are sad take heart again;
We are not alone in our hours of pain;
Our Father looks from His throne above
To soothe and comfort us with His love.
He leaves us not when the storms are high,
And we have safety, for He is nigh;
Can that be trouble which He doth share?
Oh, rest in peace, for the Lord DOES CARE."
(Hugh Miller)