Monday, December 14, 2009

time flies when you're really busy

It seems like it's been a long time since I blogged anything significant other than Pappaw reports. It certainly isn't because nothing has happened! It's more likely just that I've been so very busy. At the end of August I became a nanny to Kennedy (5) and Garrison (3).

They are great kids and I've really enjoyed being paid to have fun with them! We've had our ups and downs getting to know each other but I think we are finally becoming friends. Garrison who hasn't really reciprocated my hugs not only gave me one on my last day before Christmas vacation but even gave me a big kiss (unprompted!). :) It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!

Between all of my jobs (Bazaarvoice & nannying mostly) I'm now working 40-50 hours a week which is definitely a culture shock for a homeschooler who has worked almost exclusively from home the last two years. Yikes! The first couple of weeks were very hard as I adjusted to the new schedule which included leaving my house at 7 AM four days a week and not getting home until 7 PM most nights. I finally settled into somewhat of a routine but it's definitely been a challenge.

The other big change has been Pappaw becoming bedridden. He has a hospital bed in the livingroom and enjoys visitors when possible. We've tried to spend some time over there but with our ever increasing busyness it has been hard to carve out time for anything extra. I unfortunately fail at being a good granddaughter these days and visiting all my ill grandparents regularly. Some wonderful friends helped come and sing for him one night and despite being heavily medicated that night I think he did enjoy it. We hope to do it again very soon.

Really though the biggest struggle for me lately has been the really overwhelming mountain of things that scream for my attention and the complete feeling of helplessness in keeping up with it all. It seems like the harder I try the further behind I get. Time management was not my strong suit in the past and now that it is non-optional I've found myself very easily discouraged. A week ago was especially bad because Joanna was very late getting home which put me even later getting to my home and for nearly a week all I had time for was to bring my things in from the car and grab some dinner before devotions and bedtime were upon me. I am learning a little bit at a time to do little things that help me keep from falling so desperately behind...simple things like every time I'm in the bathroom choosing one type of thing to do like gather all the toothbrushes and put them away or pick up the dirty towels. Unfortunately there was no hope at all for my bedroom which was drowning me in unfiled papers and baskets of laundry. This extra long holiday vacation is being super helpful for catching up on those things though and hopefully I will be able to maintain it to a point that I won't fall so far behind. It really just has been a nonstop stream of activity since I started working and my room was already a nightmare. I do not know how moms with full time careers besides their kids do it!!

One thing I've noticed about being so busy is that time seems to really go by quickly. I feel like I have that watch from the story and that I'm somehow speeding up time because every time I think about it the time seems to just go by faster. I can hardly believe Christmas is already here. As I put up the lights up outside and shivered in the very definitely wintry weather it seemed almost unreal. I'm not finding the Christmas "mood" coming very easily this year, I just feel almost indifferent. I want to be in the Christmas mood but somehow it eludes me. Every time I try to play my Christmas music in the car or as I work it just doesn't feel right and I switch back to my normal stuff. I've been Christmas shopping and bought some gifts I'm super excited about giving and yet it still doesn't feel like Christmas. It feels as if Christmas will just fly right by and I won't have even had the chance to enjoy it at all.

Well one thing I will say about my new schedule is that I finally do want to go to bed at decent hours again!! My body tells me it's after 11 PM despite the fact I haven't had to get up early this week. I think the chiropractor said that's a good thing, 10 PM - 6 AM is when we get the best sleep. I'd prefer that number to end up a bit closer to 8 or 9 AM myself. ;) And now that I have an entire book typed up I believe I can post this and feel accomplished. Writing is something I do miss at times and this seems to be my only outlet for it.

In case I don't get around to posting again before then, have a merry Christmas. :)


Forrest said...

Sorry life is so busy for you. Been there and hated the unorganized and inner frustration it brought. But life happens, doesn't it?

And I am with you 120%. I cannot get into that Christmas spirit. It's not the same. Oh well, Megan, at least we know our precious Lord Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That is our hope. Keep knowing, loving, and trusting Him.

Love and prayers,
Brother Forrest